Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Epic Cat Design Demand Story


Although I'm a huge animal lover and I'd go crazy if one of my cats goes missing, this is really funny (..and cruel, but still funny!) and you have to read it.

This is a story about a designer called David who was asked by his secretary to design a "lost" poster for her cat who had escaped, and she needed it as soon as possible. Ofcourse, David wasn't gonna get paid for this.

The lesson here:
Dont you ever, ever, ever tell a designer that the job they did needs a couple changes – they will flip out on you, either out loud or in their mind. Eventually you’ll know about it. Seriously...

Here's what happened via email:

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster


Hi
 

I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

 

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.

Thanks Shan. 

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today. 


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
 

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David.

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks. 


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.


Regards, David.

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.

_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you. 


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww 


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date:
Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To:
David Thorne
Subject:
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it. 


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


_______________________________________________________________________________


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.


_______________________________________________________________________________
 
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16 comments:

  1. This made my day. ^__^ Thank You.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i have been reading this at work and almost crying from laughing too hard but not trying to make any noise. this is the funniest thing i have seen in a long time!

    ReplyDelete
  3. this can't be true! Funny as hell, though

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  4. Absolutely brilliant! :D

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  5. I am sitting here in tears and laughing at the same time. Thank you SO much for posting this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Super and Hilarious. My daughter is also a designer and I better warn the people she works for. Please also write a paragraph on how to get a design refined by the client. Good one. ha

    ReplyDelete
  7. hehe! Im glad you like it. But I think you misunderstood. I didn't write it. Just happened to blog about it ;)

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  8. OK , Fine , Please blog about how to get a design refined. Honestly that will be some information for all .

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  9. Hi again there vora!

    Oh I wish I had the time to write articles, but I truly don't. So sorry for the disappointment. Im sure however, that there must be some articles out there to help you out. I could help you find them if you're still interested. If so, please contact me via email. You'll find that on the top right.

    Best,
    yasmina

    ReplyDelete
  10. I enjoyed this enormously and cannot wait to send it to my cat loving friends

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  11. It's a funny story, but you should really credit the author and link the source:

    http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh great! I've been looking for that. I did link to where I got it from, just could never find the original source/author. Thanx, will update it now.

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  13. this story has me in tears every time. so so funny :D

    surely the actual lesson here is never utter the phrase, "I was wondering if you could [insert time-consuming favour here]" to a professional graphic designer! ;)

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  14. Why did you steal the story from: http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html ?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dear sir/madame,
    I didn't not STEAL anything from anywhere!! Please notice the link at the end of the post that credits the exact website you gave me.

    Best,
    -Yasmina

    ReplyDelete

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